Thoughts — Relationships

“The relationship ended before it could start” seems to be the common thread among the locked down love stories in therapy. The pandemic has sent a lot of hopeful romantics finding love on the internet, while some have been lucky – the others are still in search of their “other half”. Even though we are confined to our homes we have all tried to connect with others using technology. The need for connection and forming relationships is testimony that man cannot, rather, not want to live on an island by themselves. Forming healthy relationships are crucial because they give us a...

It was 6 months, 2 weeks and 3 days and it still hurt. For her, the pain felt deeper. Falling asleep felt like a curse, he plagued her mind even in her dreams. The conversations, messages, and eventually the break-up were memories she relived every day. She wanted a pill, like in Homecoming (the Netflix show), that would help her forget everything! In therapy, she would often ask for such a pill.Clients often ask for quick fixes to “get rid of the pain” of a break-up. It is unbearable and often leaves us with a sense of hollowness. Some of...

On a usual day, without the virus, you’d get home and go straight to your room. Interaction with your family is almost minimal. Even when you do, at most it is small talk about how a certain cricketer is doing or how a certain politician is functioning or anything that is impersonal enough to be in neutral territory. Despite this, difference of opinions rise and you are not able to keep your cool in a discussion that inadvertently ends up becoming a fight. This fight might lead to a constant cycle that spurs even lesser interaction.If this sort of tension...

Last week the world celebrated mother’s day in honour of all the things our mothers do for us: the care, the love, the sacrifices. Sacrificing their sleep, sacrificing their careers, sacrificing their bodies. Wait did I mention all the sacrifices? While these are something we should be grateful to our mothers for – they shouldn’t be a necessary one sided burden that women need to carry. There are sacrifices that might go into parenting but gender norms make these sacrifices look different for mothers and fathers in heterosexual relationships. While mothers are meant to sacrifice having their own identities and personal lives...

The lockdown (for the second time) may seem like a whole new curveball for couples. Living in the same environment or in a long-distance relationship could mean more conflicts, more expectations and more problems sprouting up. Whether that’s less space or less time – it can be hectic. Relationships of any kind need more communication, trust and empathy than before the lockdown, that also for the second time around. If love in lockdown feels tough for you… here are a few things to reflect on. The first thing we all need to do (in all relationships) is to understand and...