the name for it · two minute read
Why I Make A Plan B For Everything
Image source: AI Generated
If you always have a backup plan ready before you have even tried the first one, you are not being negative. You are bracing.
Making a plan b is how some of us hold the fear of plan a not working, without ever having to say that fear out loud.
There is a name for this. Psychologists call it defensive pessimism. You set your expectations low on purpose and run through everything that could go wrong, not because you think you will fail, but because imagining the worst is the only thing that lets you function. It is anxiety, wearing a project manager's lanyard.
Here is the part the internet skips. For some people, it works. Telling a defensive pessimist to just think positive does not calm anything. It takes away the one tool that was holding them together. The problem was never the plan b. It is when plan b turns into plan c, and you never fully arrive at plan a.
My clients do not call it defensive pessimism. They call it being realistic, in the same tone their mum used. They have got a backup career, and a version of the appraisal conversation already rehearsed at 2am. Everyone in the family WhatsApp group thinks they are the calm one.
You do not have to give up the plan b. You could just notice, once, what plan a would feel like if you let yourself want it.
the bit i would actually try ↓
If you would rather do something with that than sit in it, our adulting journal has prompts for this exact kind of planning.
Tiya Bhatia, psychologist, The Thought Co.
Related, once live: why nothing feels like enough after a win · the 2am tab spiral
people also ask
Is making a backup plan for everything a bad thing?
No, not on its own. A backup plan becomes a problem only when it stops you from ever committing to the first one. If the planning steadies you, it is working. If it just tires you out and nothing gets decided, that is worth looking at.
What is the difference between defensive pessimism and catastrophizing?
Defensive pessimism is imagining what could go wrong and then preparing for it, which can lower anxiety. Catastrophizing jumps to the worst outcome and stops there, with no plan and no relief, just dread. One tends to end in action. The other tends to end in a spiral.
Why do I assume the worst even when things are going well?
Because for a lot of us, expecting the worst once kept us safe, and the habit stayed long after the danger left. When things are going well, the fear of losing it can feel louder than the good itself. That is common, and it is not a character flaw.
if tonight feels bigger than a plan b, this page is not the thing you need. talk to a person.
Tele-MANAS, free, 24x7: 14416
a journal and a blog are not a replacement for therapy or crisis care.
