Have you ever felt blah, whatever, not particularly sad but not happy either? Ever had moments where you stay in bed all day scrolling on your phone, binge watching shows, not particularly motivated or excited to do anything else? Had that thought where it feels like you're living the same day over and over again? It seems like you’re getting by at work but are more distractible than before? Always end up feeling listless and joyless but yet you are certain that you are not depressed because you still have energy?
If you answered in the affirmative to even one of those questions, I have news for you. That blah feeling you’ve been feeling? It has a name for it. It’s called Languishing.
Languishing is described as the state of stagnation and aimlessness. As we all know, health is not merely an absence of disease or infirmity, it is a condition of physical, mental and social well-being. The peak of well-being is called ‘flourishing’. The American Psychological Association defines flourishing as a state devoid of illness and distress and being filled with vitality in one's personal and social life. It means that one has a strong sense of purpose and a feeling of significance to others.
Adam Grant (organisational psychologist) describes Languishing as the neglected middle child of mental health. It’s the gap that rests between depression (that is extreme sadness, feeling of worthless and hopeless) and flourishing. When you are languishing means that you do not have any mental health concern but you are not in optimal health either. It means that you are not functioning at your full potential (or the potential that you want to). It dampens your motivation and concentration and increases your chances of cutting back on work and engaging with other people. It’s a risk factor for developing depression.
So, how do we stop feeling blah?
Grant says playing the popular video game Mario Kart with his family saved him from languishing. What about playing Mario Kart helped, I wonder?
He says Mario Kart aided him to find his “flow”. It was found that the best predictor for well-being is not optimism (as one would assume) but it’s actually flow. Flow is a term coined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi which denotes a state of absolute absorption in an activity. Where you lose track of time and sometimes, maybe even the sense of self. You might be thinking flow is like bingeing on your favourite show, but you’re (only slightly) wrong, because bingeing is a temporary escape from languishing; a passive engagement in a fictional world. Flow, on the other hand, needs active participation in the real world. Adam Grant gives us the theory of peak flow which has three parts: mastery, mindfulness and mattering.
Mastery means a sense of progress and momentum. It doesn’t have to be a big achievement, it can just be small wins.
Mindfulness means having your full attention on one task at a time and not repeatedly switching between tasks like listening to music, checking emails, solving a maths problem, doing the crossword and doing your work at the same time.
Mattering is what happens when what you are doing is making a difference to (or fostering connection with) other people.
So, the next time you're feeling blah, know that whenever you are ready all you need to do is find something that makes you flow.
It could be something as simple as playing Mario Kart.
References
Grant, A. (2021, December 3). There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html
Meet The Author
Zahra is a mental health practitioner with a specialisation in clinical psychology. She has completed her training in Mumbai and London. Zahra is experienced in working with children, adolescents and young adults in various clinical setups. Her research interests lie in adapting therapeutic techniques to individuals with neuro-developmental disorders. She also volunteers for NGOs aimed at social change. She believes addressing both the psychological and social aspects of an individual.
Zahra Diwan, Psychologist