Is Being Ordinary Effecting Your Self-Worth?

Ever since we were little, we’ve been ingrained with the idea that we have to be a cut above the rest, be special, and most importantly, that we should stand out. The messaging says that we have to be better than everyone or else, we would be a disaster and not worthy. Our world puts being ‘extraordinary’ and ‘competitive’ at a pinnacle. 


It is entrenched in us that being ordinary is the absolute worst thing that could be. It is a disappointment to ourselves and the people around us. I wonder how being ordinary like the rest of humankind became a bad thing. Why are we building a world in which ordinary life is not good enough? What is so deeply wrong with it that all of us want to one up each other. 


Being extraordinary is the conduit of love in today's world. It is like a gateway to respect and love that we all crave and is a fundamental need. That is awful and depressive because the truth is most of us are going to live ordinary lives. 


I think a modest amount of ambition is great. It motivates us to get up and go. However, being unambitious is not dangerous. The danger is us feeling so inadequate with the expectations to be extraordinary placed upon us by society and ourselves that we don’t want to live at all in our excellently ordinary lives. 


When we completely envelope ourselves with things or achievements it is pointing to our incredible intense need for love. We have created a world in which we need to feel extraordinary by our attributes, achievement or the things we possess to feel like we have the right to exist. That is problematic. 


We need to create a new message that it is okay to be ordinary. 

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Zahra Diwan

Zahra has over 4 years of experience working with clients within the therapeutic framework. She works extensively with young adults, and maintains a diary on Things That Help Us which is collation of insights she gains in therapy.

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